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juan corrado's Journal 20 most recent entries

Date: 2005-10-05 02:43 Subject: somewhere beyond the sea Security: Public why am i so afraid of being happy ...while the west coast rolls along...

Comments: rock out.

Date:	2005-06-12 20:43
Subject:	St. Jimmy
Security:	Public
Mood:	depressed

well so far 2005 sucks
i dunno why everyone always tries to reassure me that everything will work out fine when i know for sure that itll all be gone eventually

why do i always feel so abandoned by most people (outside my immediate family) they just leave, like they found their way to a perfect life but that deal never includes me.

why do i always feel like i dont matter to anyone
that im worth less than a glass of beer to some people
i hate it
i hate trying so hard and for so long to hold on to somemthing that i know is already gone
im tired of being a decent guy when it seems that no one appreciates that trait
im tired of waiting in the dark

lately ive been so fucking depressed, i dunno why
i cant sleep well anymore
i just think about her
i want this waiting to be over
i want the disapointment of an empty spot next to me to be filled
cant come soon enough
school is just an annoying waste of time now
i depressed about that too
and the asshole advising staff that only specialize in fucking up your life
so much confusion and illusion in my brain
it could all be cleared by 3 words from the mouth of one beautiful girl
i know im over-doing the sappiness a little bit but im just getting my point across

some people who i know who were taking and important person in their life for granted finally realized the error of their ways, a little too late unfortunatly. but hindsight is 20/20. i feel bad but there was nothing i could do, i d tried to tell them but they wouldnt listen, and they didnt knwo what they had until it was gone.

never take anything in this life for granted

...life goes on...

"Cause Every Dog Has Its Day
Like every woman, she gets her own way
And if there's a ship that sails tonight
I'll captain that too, just to be there with you"

may 16th cant come soon enough
i love you Kristin

Date:	2005-04-07 01:11
Subject:	buh-buh-buh bored
Security:	Public
Mood:	blah

i know i only update like semi-annually but i got some shit in my head
but yea
i missed swede a whole hell of a lot today
i think it was because it was our 9 month anniversary and we cant be together
its hard to listen to people complain about their small relationship problems when i cant even be next to the one i love for another month or so.
some people just dont appreciate what they have in front of them and it gets to me
but i dont say anything
itll be ok
im trying not to think about how long itll be until the semester is over but its really all i care about right now
anyway enough mushy mushy

my geek side is gonna start comin out again because the next star wars movie is comin out and im gonna be there, hopefully get some people to tailgate the movie. oh yea! haha
im workin at the county again this summer and maybe ill drive to maine with swede if she wants and my sis and one of her friends instead of goin with the parents crammed in the van.

im extremely bored
but my tax refund came and when i deposit that ill have a bunch o money again
why wont meghan leave, ive been typing on the comp for a while and she just keeps watching the damn tv
im not even talkin
i stopped talking like 45 minutes ago
grr
i guess ill just watch mythbusters and go to bed


buhbye now
love you babydoll

well
got back from the UK not the long ago
its pretty cool over there
ate some fish and chips but mostly mcD's
i had fun with my baby
it was only a few days but it was def worth the trip to be with her

so after a slightly emotional goodbye, i got back on the plane to NJ
so now with only 6 weeks to go in the semester it doesnt seem that far away
until i pick her up at the airport in may
until then i have this "school work" stuff to deal with
but ill get that out of the way then its summer time and car show nights woooo!

anyway

i miss my swedie pie

...tomorrow is a lifetime away...

so...
my one and only babydoll swede has been in england since the beginning of the semester and is gonna be there til may
its cool, im goin to visit for my spring break.
plus we can talk to eachother through the comp with this new program thinger, which kicks ass
anyway valentines day was kinda depressing me because well it was valentines day and i couldnt see my sweetheart in person, until she surprised me with a phone call from england which totally turned my day around and i couldnt stop smiling. :0)

i love her, shes the best

i been goin to a film class and have been given permission to produce just about anything for the ville's new public access channel
i dont really know what they are gettin them selves into by letting me have free reign hehehe

so the doc still cant figure out why my back hurts but im goin to physical therapy where i do excersizes with old people to try and get better.
ohwell plus i gotta swallow these big ass pills, im not kidding either these are huge mothers

i started a savings account to build a car funded by spare change, i gotta bunch so far and i figured a bank would be safer than under my mattress. i got a few ideas so far, i dunno how many are gonna be possible but i guess ill find out soon enough.

i dunno how to end this post, most people usually end it with a song lyric or two
this particular one pretty much describes how i feel

Sometimes she comes to me in a song,
sometimes she comes in a dream
Shes all the joy in my heart, she's everything that i see.
When we're together there is no time there is no space,
when we're together everything is in it's place.
Turn myself inside out for her,
my endless love is without form,
let my heart be the light that guides her through the storm.

Tomorrow's a lifetime away, she's all I want today


i love you babydoll :0*

If I ever leave this world alive
I'll thank for all the things you did in my life
If I ever leave this world alive
I'll come back down and sit beside your feet tonight
Wherever I am you'll always be
More than just a memory
If I ever leave this world alive

If I ever leave this world alive
I'll take on all the sadness
That I left behind
If I ever leave this world alive
The madness that you feel will soon subside
So in a word don't shed a tear
I'll be here when it all gets weird
If I ever leave this world alive

So when in doubt just call my name
Just before you go insane
If I ever leave this world
Hey I may never leave this world
But if I ever leave this world alive

She says I'm ok, I'm alright
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would,
Now everything should be all right

She says I'm okay; I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would,
Now everything should be all right
Yeah should be alright







stay focused, be in control, adapt, overcome, survive

Date:	2004-09-28 23:10
Subject:	muhahahahahahahahahahahaha
Security:	Public
Mood:	horny

sa jag ar riktigt cool tycker jag... forst och framst for alla er som inte vet jag ar hans flickvan, sa ni alla borde halla er borta fran honom... hehe... men men, jag vet inte vad jag ska skriva, tankte bara att han inte updaterar till rakligt sa jag tankte bara saga hejsan till er alla... han ar nu 21 ar gamal och han fick manga roliga saker i fodelse dags present... annars sa hoppas jag att han ar bra...
men nu ska jag ga...

I just thought he didnt update this thing enough so I just decided to do it for him... so yea thats it... anyways...
Later

its one forty in the am
in a few hours ill be goin back to fdu
as an upperclassmen no less
hmm
i dunno why but strange

summers over, but for me it never really started
things just changed for a while and now theyre changing back to what i now perceive as "normal"

i got to see old friends twice this summer thanks to my employment in the road division of somerset county

but i guess that beats having garbage water dumped on you at 3 in the morning everynight

ive seen people that have changed alot in the past year
outside appearances tell you nothings happend
the look in the eyes gives them away
the look dictates they wanna say something but they dont
i say nothing as well

what could i do anyway


Irene is running once again and shes got brand new insurance
sadly, shes staying home while the luminator comes with me to school keeping her well away from drunken asses who feel the need to touch things that dont belong to them


i turn 21 in a week
people bug me now like im gonna become some massive drinker because they dont think ill have a valid excuse not to be

for those who dont know i havent drank or done drugs my whole life
and im not fuckin straight edge either

i have my own reasons
for me

not you



anyway my summer has been condensed into this nine day gap from when i quit work until now, the night before school starts

and thats over now too

i cant wait to wait in lines at school to get my key that wont work to get into my room and hook up my computer that will die the first time i turn it on like it has every single other time on the first day of school

arent i optimistic

yey


have a good year everyone dont be a stranger

or do wahtever you want i dont care



-catch you on the flip side

goddammit i fucking hate computers
it broke
again
hard drive wiped completley
again
im still goin to get bill gate's wallet



i dont care fuggit that nigga owes me


and industry reports can lick it sideways too man

school needs to go so i can work and get mad paper

school needs to end so the '51 can go into the garage finally


they say i need to declare a major
well i declare this
shool sucks major ass

that works


paintball 4 days
punisher 3 days

week needs to end

fack


watch band of brothers, 9 pm, history channel
everyone should watch that
that means you


thats right nigga you


damn



im gone!

i havent updated in a while because my home computer is a piece of crap
im back at school so here we go again
nothin news been happenin
went skiin a couple times
other than that the most i did was help my nieghbors with the old cars

the paint job on my little pickup is pretty neat
its not done yet but its coin along fine
i got a new little car to play with too

ive had one class so far and it seems like i can do decent in it
i have another class at 5
oh well

the van broke so my newly aquired lumina has been taken over by my dad leaving me car less again
i wanna get an old cadillac to bomb around in for the summer

if theres one thing ive learned in the past few months is that times dont change, people do

im trying not to get stressed about b.s. thats around me


E 235 has a new setup complete with multimedia entertainment center so come and hang out

bring food


someone get me a job so i can have money

green for the money, gold for the honeys


out!

this weeks nuts

i been runnin around tryin to get my damn parking pass
finally got it today after a week and a half
no more ghetto pass for me

we went bowlin monday night
i was having a haggard day but that made it better
randomly ran into colleen diamond
that was very cool

i found the best ball to bowl with
its a thousand pounds and its name is jimmy
it destroys all in its path

anyway
colleen came over tuesday and we chilled for a long ass time
her friends from saint E's came over too
we all had a good ol time
the hall reeked of the pot
and the security dude peeped in our room tryin not to be too obvious

we didnt have shit nukka so peace yo ass foo

woke up for ethics,
the presentation went good
we were short 2 people but we pulled through like friggin champs

then we all went to bazookas and chilled and ate food that didnt sit well
saw some weird people

haha i broke into my house at 1 in the morning to get something i forgot
my dad comes down and is like what are you doing
haha
gettin stuff
buhbye

anyway the good news,
the grounds froze
its cold
theres ice forming
snows coming
and dan dont got mono
we's goin to the slopes nukka!
holla!

ok im gonna watch futurama and go to bed

aint nothin but a G-thang ba-bay

break was mediocre
i miss the old days at the tiongson household
anyway

i made alot of progress on the r/c truck this week
took it all to the frame and cleaned it
so now it doesnt look like its a dirt color

i think dads gonna check the motor and stuff
cuz im not good with electricity
(remember i got electrocuted, twice)

yea so im back at school and goin to sleep

i rock the lumina now in full effect

mom got a liberty

irene wont start
shes got some sorta dead short in the ignition
dont matter anyway she dont have insurance anymore
oh well


screw it


anyway
i got 2 new r/c cars that probubly dont work but i dont care
im gonna clean em up and practice painting on them
theyll look cool on the shelf

annnnnyway
brooke gave me a aqua teens sticker
friggin cool
i put it on my sub, now its a badass sub

ye'hea BAD ASS

my schedule for next semester licks it hard
but i dont have weds classes
other days i have like 7 hours each of crapola

ineed a season pass for skiin
mofo's

and i decided i want to get a video camera and some shitty editing software
so i can at least do something constructive with my sparetime
tv programming during the day sucks

i gotta write about syringes now

-audi-

went to virginia to visit jamie and jessica
it was fun, their apt-mates are crazy
congrats on asa emily
i slept on the floor for the weekend
we went to a friggin huge maze of corn and got lost and frozen
we found our own way out after a while.

gotta love jersey girls

i found my skis on ebay for a dollar brand new without bindings, i may invest in that just in case mine break on me
the new weapon graphic is awesome, it has 2 samurais fighting
wooo asian

anyway, me and dan are def getting a nasty deal on season passes and i might go to vt with dave for a few trips to ski and cause a ruckus

so amandas roomates think im boring and strange
"he like a stoner without the pot"
great

brookes birhtday is coming up soon, i gotta make up for last year cuz my present never showed up, ill get it right this time


goin bowlin again tonight, i suck but its fun to change peoples names when thye arent lookin

thats it fo now
be out sonny

-thug nation-

yep
midterms went off easier than expected
havent heard from ethics midterm, that grade may be KIA
he will be missed

annyway i was snake eyes for halloween
the one and only bad ass commando ninja from G.I. Joe
lauren was over visitin jess but then came over to my dorm and we chilled til way past my bedtime

i got my skis back from gettin done up for the season
me and danny d-rye are gettin season passes for this season

i went to check out the addition to the skatepark
cj and harley were there as usual and ryan collins was there too
werd
ol school
anyway
the mini ramp is sweet and i wanted to ride it
my helmets are MIA
plus i dont have a sticker
shit guys

our room has 2 fridges
we be ballin nugs

i have a stupid paper for ethics due
i wanna punch ethics in the jawpiece
makes me brain feel fuzzy like

yup
[end]

havent been updating in a while ive been mo' busy
oh well

icant wait to see the aftermath of the midterms
yey for bein stupid


went to tony hawk's boom boom huck jam on friday
tony,bucky,bob,andy,lincoln udea, sergie ventura
mat, john parker, kevin, simon(broken hand!), the two bmxer's who got me into riding DMC dennis mcCoy, and the biker in black rick thorne
also fmxer's dustin miller, clifford, carey's injured(dammit), jersey boy RONNIE FAISST, and metal mulisha commander brian deegan.


so cool holy crap.



oh well


Alien is getting re-released in theaters this week
directors cut! holler!


ok thats it

got out an hour and a half early from my 3 hour forum of business ethics
yey

ive been doin crunches to try and lose the buddah
fuck fat feel the buuuurn


leigh is comin to visit sometime later
big fun in the boring college dorm
woohoo

why is my xbox on...
k back i just turned it off

i wanna see kill bill

my mom tells me she has no idea what to get me for christmas
how bout just socks, socks are good
people need socks


sock you in the fo-head

thats not funny i just need a life

and i wanna see amanda
im gettin chickie deprived

me and racer are gonna try to make our way down to jmu in nov.
maybe
we'll see how that one turns out



s'all fer now

finally went to a doc
gots me some meds that work
no more chuggin da 'quil for me


eddie izzard is still the funniest man in womens clothing ever
and nyc is still a horrible place

i wish there was a hockey team here
there was supposed to be, i guess there wasnt enough interest

DUCKS FLY TOGETHER!
haha emilio esteves best work to date.


new mushroomhead "XIII" comes out soon, its good, get it
trust me

i been jammin to big bad voodoo daddy recently
i dont care what anyone says, they rock period.
i want to see them live so bad
id dress up in a zoot suit and ervrythang
and id be cool
...yea


i think i got a slight grip on things
i did a complicated problem in math by myself and it was completly right
and the new stuff we're doing is making sense
it should, ive been tryin to understand it for 5 years
my future is comin on


oh well...


whatever happens, happens.

i spelled listen wrong sonnamuhbitch

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